Going Gay / Tim – Chapters 9 – 12


We toweled off quickly and adjourned to the California-king-size bed, which easily had plenty of room for the three of us (and a few more, if truth be told, as long as they knew each other really well!).

Beau stretched out on his back in the middle of the bed, with Jimmy and me on either side. He looked to his left and then his right, gave us a leering grin and commanded, “Eat me, boys!”

Jimmy grinned at me across Beau and lowered his head to Beau’s crotch. Not sure what to do next, I followed suit.

Jimmy lifted Beau’s rock-hard penis and pointed it in my direction. Taking my cue, I put it in my mouth and took it down as far as I could. My throat was not as relaxed as it had been earlier this morning, so I couldn’t get it all the way in, but Beau’s moan of pleasure told me I was doing all right.

After a couple of minutes, Jimmy, who still had hold of Beau’s erection by the base, pointed it into his own mouth and repeated my performance. I was pleased to note that he didn’t do anything beyond or better than what I had just done.

Then Jimmy removed his mouth from Beau’s member and held it directly between us. Intuitively, I realized that we were meant to share it, so I moved in closer on my side, while Jimmy came at it from his.

Together, we licked and sucked it up and down, and to my great surprise, once in a while, Jimmy removed his mouth from Beau and kissed me. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I kissed him back, which seemed to please both young men. I had noticed to my dismay in the shower that Jimmy’s mouth tasted like an ashtray, so I surmised that he was a heavy smoker, but as long as he wasn’t doing it in my room, I could live with it.

After a few minutes of sharing Beau’s prick with me, Jimmy let me have it all, as he began to work on Beau’s balls, licking, kissing, and sucking on them alternately. At one point, he took both of them in his mouth at the same time. This made Beau squeal with delight and pleasure. I made another mental note to learn how to do that, too.

This went on for a few minutes longer, and then Beau started bucking his hips and plunging harder and deeper into my mouth. In a matter of seconds, I felt his jism fill me again, and I eagerly swallowed all of it. Without warning, Jimmy pulled me toward himself and kissed me with his tongue deep in my mouth, sharing in the savory elixir I had just received from Beau’s love-stick.

Exhausted, the three of us fell back onto the pillows, our bodies entwined and breathing exhaustedly. While only one of us had ejaculated, something told me that this was only Round One of a more elaborate minuet that was about to unfold.

After letting his breathing return to normal for a minute or two, Beau rose up on his elbows and addressed me in a serious tone. “Tim, my boy, you’ve learned your lessons well, and plenty of men would be completely satisfied with the kind of sex we’ve been having. But there’s a whole other dimension, and if you’re interested, we can begin to show you that.”

“I think I know what you’re talking about, and it has something to do with the ass-play that we did last time. Am I right?”

“Yep. And ass-play, or rimming, as it’s called, is exactly how it starts. That’s why I invited Jimmy here. He is famous for the size of his cock, and I am what’s known as a ‘hungry bottom’,” he said, winking at Jimmy, who laughed uproariously and said, “Damn fucking straight!”

With that, Beau rolled over onto his knees, and stuck his rump high in the air and wiggled it. Then he contracted each ass cheek in turn several times, creating a hilarious picture of dancing glutes and making Jimmy and me laugh almost to tears. Jimmy sat up in bed and without a word, smacked Beau roughly on one cheek. The loud clap that it made caused me to jump, and both guys chuckled. A red handprint began to form on Beau’s immaculately beautiful derrière.

“Your turn,” Jimmy told me. I hesitated.

“Come on, go ahead and do it!” Beau insisted. So I complied. My smack wasn’t nearly as forceful or as loud as Jimmy’s, but it, too, produced a bright red impression of my right hand.

And with that, Jimmy assumed a position behind Beau, his knees between Beau’s legs. He bent forward and used both hands to prize Beau’s cheeks wide apart, exposing his wrinkled man-pussy. I looked closely and saw that the pucker was actually quivering slightly in eager anticipation.

Jimmy ran his tongue all the way up the middle of Beau’s back, following the cleft of his spine, then up his neck and ending at his right earlobe, which Jimmy nibbled lightly. Beau turned his head toward Jimmy and the two kissed deeply. Then Jimmy retraced his route down Beau’s back, this time with gentle kisses, until he reached Beau’s ass again.

With Beau’s cheeks stretched open wide, Jimmy leaned his whole face in and began using his tongue the way Beau had taught me, licking and teasing up and down Beau’s cleft, and pressing it deeply into his tight hole, all the while reaching between Beau’s legs and massaging his pecker to its full size and hardness.

At that point, Jimmy paused and looked over at me. “Lube?” he inquired.

I was at a loss until Beau said, “in the drawer of the bedtable.” I opened the drawer and saw a tube of clear liquid labeled with a red and black label that said Swiss Navy. The name struck me as hilarious, since Switzerland, a land-locked country, surely doesn’t even have a navy!

Handing it to Jimmy, I watched as he held the spout of the bottle just above Beau’s ample booty. He pressed on the pump-top, and a thin ribbon of gel-like fluid ran down, onto and down Beau’s ass-crack. It must have been cold, because Beau twitched slightly and gasped when it hit his skin.

Jimmy handed the bottle back to me and proceeded to use his fingers and thumb to work the gel into and around Beau’s anus. He inserted one finger, pumped it in and out, then added a second, and finally a third finger entered into Beau’s sweet bunghole. After that, his hand still moist from the lubricant, Jimmy massaged it onto his raging hard-on and unceremoniously wiped his hand on Beau’s lower back.

Jimmy then rose up straight on his knees and inched his body closer to Beau until his cock rested on top of Beau’s crack. He began to rub his rod up and down, gliding through the thin coating of gel that lubricated his colossal cock and Beau’s eagerly waiting asshole. As he did this, Beau arched his back almost to the point of bending backward. His entire body was aching for the moment when Jimmy would enter him.

At that, I realized that they had done this together more than once. Their movements were almost choreographed! It brought home to me the fact that they were porn stars, probably well-paid because of the quality of their many performances.

Jimmy then aimed the engorged helmet of his massive member directly at Beau’s hole and pressed on it. A second later, the head popped right in and disappeared. Beau inhaled sharply. Jimmy then put both hands on the sides of Beau’s pelvis and gently but firmly pressed more and more of his ten and a half inches inside Beau’s body. Beau groaned softly but did not seem to mind in the least.

When Jimmy’s naked abdomen was fully pressed against Beau’s butt cheeks and his dick was in as far as it would go, he stopped and waited. Beau took several deep breaths, adjusted his position a little, and then to my amazement started moving back and forth, riding Jimmy’s shlong like it was the piston of some kind of sex-machine.

Soon, Jimmy began to match Beau’s movements. As Beau pushed back, Jimmy plunged in deeply and forcefully. They developed a rhythm which lasted for quite a while, increasing and slowing in speed as they both clearly enjoyed the variations. After that, Jimmy started pulling his long dick far back, almost all the way out of Beau’s ass, and then slamming it all the way in with a loud smack, like a jackhammer destroying pavement.

At the deepest part of each penetration by Jimmy’s love-hammer, Beau was pushed forward roughly, burying his face in the pillows. I worried that he might start banging his head against the headboard, but the two of them seem to have arranged themselves into just the right position to prevent that.

I was mesmerized watching the two men have sex like this. Beau, still in his dog-like posture, had lowered his forehead onto the pillow and was looking backward between his open legs, watching Jimmy plow into him. From my vantage point, I could see Jimmy’s horse-like balls swinging back and forth with each pistoning thrust. The sight was intensely sexual, masculine, dominating, and unbelievably exciting to me. The room began to smell of sweat and some sort of musky, manly scent, but nothing worse than that. I was going to have to ask Beau why that was.


Beau turned his head toward me, smiled, and said, “Come up here.” He then began to suck me, his motion up and down my dick in time with the pounding he was receiving from behind. With an erect prick inserted into each end of his body, Beau reminded me of a pig on a roasting spit. “Where was I getting all this pig imagery?” I wondered silently.

I was ecstatic that I had been invited to play my part in the intimacy, the pure abandon, the unleashed sensuality and pleasure, the raw uninhibited excitement of the sex act that Beau and Jimmy were sharing right in front of me. Although I had never understood the attraction of pornography, the live show was another question entirely!

After maintaining this position for a few minutes, Beau seemed to be tiring. He stretched out and lay flat on the bed, Jimmy’s hard-on still inside him, and Jimmy adjusted his own position by lying on top of Beau. Their bodies touching from cheeks to feet, Jimmy’s angle of entry changed to up-and-down, while Beau lay completely still, receiving every incredible inch with pleasure-filled abandon.

Then Jimmy raised up, straightening his legs and feet and putting his weight on his toes, which gave him an even wider arc of movement as he penetrated Beau’s rump. It looked like he was doing push-ups into Beau’s backside.

“Penetrate” sounds harsh, even violent,  but its original root-word is “penis,” which reminded me that the sensations and actions of fucking, of entering into another person and leaving behind your most essential creative product, are one of the greatest and most primitive expressions of union between two human beings.

Jimmy continued to vary his speed and intensity. I couldn’t tell if that was meant to spare Beau some of the pain or to allow himself to hold back from ejaculating. Whichever it was, it looked like something that this pornstar duo did all the time, and I found myself wondering how often the two of them had enjoyed this kind of sex, and whether there was always a camera running while they did it.

Soon, it was time for another position. Jimmy pulled his giant love-stick out of Beau with a slurping sound and rolled over onto his back on the pillows, his dick sticking straight up in the air. Beau rose, turned his back toward Jimmy, and squatted over his friend’s hardness. Then he gingerly guided the swollen head and shaft back into his hole and began riding it up and down like a pillar of white-hot flesh.

This apparently allowed Beau to take control of his pleasure and Jimmy’s, and he demonstrated that he knew just how to do that. Jimmy assisted sometimes by placing his hands below Beau’s thighs and raising and lowering him onto his pole as he thrust rapidly upward. Throughout this, Beau’s balls slapped Jimmy’s at the bottom of each stroke, and his erection bounced up and down as if waving at me and teasing me to try to catch it. Without thinking, I leaned forward and put my hand around it, jacking him as he was being fucked.

Next, Beau sat all the way down on Jimmy’s hardness and crab-walked his body into a 180-degree turn, so that he now sat facing Jimmy. Kneeling with his legs on each side of Jimmy’s waist, Beau resumed the bouncing ride, and his cock loudly smacked onto Jimmy’s belly. The view from behind where I was kneeling was overpoweringly erotic. Each time Beau rose up, I was treated to the sight of Jimmy’s full length, with only the ruby-red tip still embedded inside Beau. And as Beau sat down hard, Jimmy’s king-sized shlong slid up out of sight, deep into Beau’s love-chamber, and the skin around Beau’s ass-entry seemed to stretch in and out with each change of direction.

Jimmy took hold of Beau’s prick and began to jack it vigorously, at which Beau threw his head back in raw physical pleasure. And my heart skipped a beat as I watched my lover, my friend, this perfectly-made man-boy give himself entirely: body, mind, and soul, to another human being. The two were united in the most intimate and total possible way.

Soon, Beau began to breathe rapidly and moan softly. Without warning, he impaled himself fully on Jimmy’s dick, forcing it in as deep as it would go, and at the same time, he shot his load in eight or nine spurts, all over Jimmy. The first ejaculation hit Jimmy in the chin, which made him laugh. The rest of them worked their way down his chest and abdomen, with the last tiny droplets trickling onto the numbers tattooed on Jimmy’s belly. It occurred to me that the long threads of Beau’s semen looked like little white ropes, and suddenly I understood the term.

They lay still after that, Jimmy still deep inside Beau, and Beau leaning forward and kissing Jimmy ravenously and licking his own cum from Jimmy’s chin, until they made one final change in position. Beau returned to the doggie posture, up on his knees and elbows, back arched again, and Jimmy began ramming him hard and fast with a loud slapping sound, his balls crashing into Beau’s from behind. In less than a minute, Jimmy threw his head back and yelled “Fuck! I’m cumming!” He slammed his pelvis against Beau’s ass so hard that it almost knocked Beau down, then lay full-length against Beau’s back. Watching from behind, I could see Jimmy’s pucker contracting and releasing, which I recognized as the pumping of his prostate as he drained his testicles into Beau’s rectum.

When the pumping ended, they both collapsed flat onto the bed. Gradually, Jimmy eased his still-hard dick out of Beau’s ass, and I saw gooey white semen follow it out and begin to drip down onto Beau’s balls. There was a lot of it, and I reached over and took some on my fingers and tasted it. It tasted just like Beau’s cum had, but with a slightly bitter additional flavor.

Shortly, Jimmy rolled off Beau and the two lay side by side. Looking up at me, Beau tapped on the bed next to him, and I stretched out beside him, the three of us in almost the same positions we had started out, ten or fifteen minutes before. Beau extended both of his arms, taking Jimmy and me into an embrace, smiling contentedly, pulling us close to him and kissing our sweat-soaked foreheads. His body was hot and wet, and I never felt anything so sexy or exciting in my life.

As our breathing returned to normal, Beau turned to face me and said, “and that, Timmy, is Anal Sex 101. There are a thousand variations, but it all boils down to what you just saw.”

I thought a moment. “Did it hurt much?”

Beau nodded, “It’s like any other pleasure, there can be a little awkwardness and discomfort at first, but you soon forget about it because the good feelings just keep coming better and better.”

Jimmy jumped in, “But don’t try this at home. Beau and me have been doing this for a coupla years, and it takes that long to figure out just how hard, fast, and deep the bottom can take it without either screaming or bleeding.” With that, he jumped out of bed, exclaiming, “I really need a fucking cigarette!”

“Out on the balcony, please,” Beau called after him. “And put some fucking pants on!” Jimmy hastily complied and disappeared out of the room.

I shuddered at the thought of blood coming out of my ass. “So, I’m sorry, but I can’t really figure out why anybody would want to do that – be the bottom, that is.”

Beau appeared to consider this for a moment. “Well, of course, I got paid to do it at first, and I set a high price for my virgin backside. But when I came to L.A., I learned that bottoms can get paid almost twice what tops make, so there was a strong incentive. Also, after a month or two, your body kind of learns how to accommodate the intrusion, even one as big as Jimmy’s. In fact, a big one seems to fit better than a smaller one, for some reason.”

“But is it pleasurable?”

“Well, Tim, have you heard of something in a woman called the ‘G-spot’?”

“Sure, but a doctor friend of mine said it doesn’t really exist. It’s just a way for a woman to get a little more pleasure out of the standard equipment.”

“Well, your doctor friend is full of shit. It has been scientifically proven and even located. It’s a tender little spot inside a woman’s vagina that has a concentration of nerves, which when stimulated correctly can produce a raging storm of pleasure.”

“So, does a man have one of those?”

“Absolutely, and you already know what it is.”

“I do?”

“Fuck yeah. It’s call the prostate.”

“The prostate? I thought that was just what produced semen.”

“It does, but it’s a very sensitive organ, and it just so happens that the most tender part of is deep up inside your rectum. That’s why you sometimes get a twinge of pleasure when a doctor does a rectal exam on you.”

“I’ve never considered that a pleasure!”

“Well, with the right partner, I’m talking about one who knows where your spot is and how to stimulate it with his dick, you can actually go all the way to cumming without ever touching yourself.”

“You’re shitting me!”

“Nope. It’s definitely there, and it absolutely acts that way. And that, my curious pupil, is why I enjoy being fucked in the ass.”

“Plus, he likes the fucking money!” Jimmy added with a laugh, returning to the bed. He stank of cigarette smoke, but I decided to forgive him after the magnificent private sex show he had just performed.


We were all silent for a while. Then I said, “Guys, I don’t know what to say. You have shown me a side of life that I never knew existed, but that I was somehow attracted to. You make it look so easy, but I have been rushing head–long into things that I never imagined existed.”

“Which tells me you don’t want me to fuck you!” Jimmy exploded in laughter.

“Well, not right now! Who knows what I’ll do in the future?”

Beau spoke up, “What say we all three get back in the shower, and this time really just get cleaned up?”

“I agree,” I said, “and after that, I’m taking you both out for the best steak dinner in this fucking city!”

After a steak dinner at a gourmet restaurant, Jimmy left us (I must confess that I don’t have any idea where he lives) and we headed back to our suite at the Del.

We were both tired and a little tipsy from a couple bottles of wine, but we kissed as we stood at the bed. Then we lovingly undressed each other, taking care to fold our clothes and lay them on the dresser. Fully naked, but invincibly soft, we gazed at each other with deep affection.

Beau was still the strikingly beautiful young man that I have fallen in love with. His perfect body is, of course, idolized by thousands (millions?) of porn watchers all over the world. From this tousled blond hair, to his eyes of deep blue, to his manly chin and perfect teeth, down across his lightly hairy chest and nipples to his washboard abs, and then to his flat abdomen and the thin line of hair that led to his crotch, then to his sculpted pubes and his six-inch soft cock and balls that hung down even below that, to his well-developed thighs and calves, and even his ten perfect toes, he was a Greek god or even more.

And he was all mine! I didn’t think of him as a possession, but as a gift. For reasons I could not fathom, this handsome, sexy young stud had decided that he wanted me – ME! – in spite of all the other beautiful young men that he could have had with no more than a wink and a smile.

I don’t know what Beau was thinking as he looked back at me. As I saw myself, I was a more-than-70-years-old senior citizen. Although my body was not really out of shape, it was certainly no turn-on for a horny 20-something sex god like Beau. I preferred not to think about that, nor to wonder what he saw in me. Rather, I was just pleased that he was here, with me, and wanted me.

Beau took me into his arms, kissed me passionately, gently guided me onto our bed, and began to kiss every inch of me. After a few minutes, I quickly turned him onto his back and returned the favor. In spite of the fact that we were tired and a little tipsy, we both began to get hard and soon found ourselves in the 69 position – one which had been our “go-to” for sex for more than a week.

As I encouraged his perfect prick to harden and seek the depths of my throat, he tantalized my own with his lingual skills and soon we were both breathing rapidly. I couldn’t say how long it took to satisfy us. We were both tired, so I suspect it wasn’t long, but for the first time, we both ejaculated at exactly the same moment. As Beau emptied his balls into my willing mouth, I felt my own contractions filling his.

There was something about the simultaneity and shared experience that made the moment even sexier, even more intimate, than any we had experienced before. I don’t know about Beau, and I never asked, but to me it was a confirmation that we were made for each other, and all thoughts of the difference in our ages and life experiences evaporated as we shared that moment of body-rocking climax with one another.

After the mutual explosion of semen, we cuddled, naked, and soon were both fast asleep. The next day he checked out of his room at the Del.

Over the next few days, we had sex three or four times a day, but I just couldn’t cross the line into fucking him or letting him fuck me. It was just as well, he said, because he’s a very good bottom but a shitty top.

Then one day, as we sat by the pool having a late breakfast after Beau’s workout in the gym, a bellman came up to me and handed me a telegram.

“Oh, boy, this can’t be good news,” Beau worried aloud.

“Well, let’s just wait and see what it says, lover-boy.”

I opened the envelope and read aloud. “Urgent you contact me asap. Have you fallen off the face of the f***ing earth? Regards, Keith.”

‘Does it really say ‘fucking’?” Beau asked, craning his head to see.

“No, it actually has three asterisks in it,” I said as I held the telegram so he could read it. “I guess that’s all that Western Union will allow him to say.”

“So, who is this Keith?”

“He’s kind of my fairy godmother, chaperone, and partner in crime.”


“Just an expression. He’s my attorney and accountant, my golf buddy, and he’s been my best friend since college. He’s keeping an eye on me, and I did promise him that I’d check in every so often. I’ve been so busy having incredible sex with you that I completely forgot. I’d better call him before he sends the Mounties to find me.”

“Mounties, eh?” Beau said with an exaggerated Canadian accent.

“Fucking Mounties, yes. And he means it. The last thing I want is him jumping on a plane and coming out here to see what I’ve been up to.”

“So, you want to keep all this a secret?” Beau said with an air of disappointment.

“I remember the night I met you, when Windermere said this was a world apart, disconnected from the world we know everywhere else. I have come to believe that and understand why he said it.” I looked deep into his blue eyes and said sincerely, “I’m not in the least ashamed of, or sorry about, what I’ve – we’ve – been doing, but I doubt many people outside our circle would understand or approve. I’d better get my ass up to the room and call him, but don’t go anywhere. This doesn’t mean the end of anything. OK?”

“I guess. If you say so.” Beau sounded very downhearted.

“That didn’t sound very convincing.” I reached over and lifted his chin so that he looked into my face.

“Well, maybe that’s because I’ve been down this road before, and I’m tired of how it always turns out.”

“Look, Beau. It’s not going to ‘turn out’ any way except exactly the way it fucking is, right now. I’m not going to leave you, and I hope you want to stay with me, because I…” My voice trailed off nervously.

“You what?” He looked into my eyes hopefully.

“Fuck, I don’t know ‘what’. And that makes me want to stick around and find out. Please don’t go anywhere. Just let me make this call, calm his ass down, and get right back to what we’ve been doing.”

“OK,” Beau said, unconvinced.


“OK,” he smiled wanly.

I leaned over and kissed him on the lips, then got up and took the elevator to my – our – room. Sitting down at the desk, I dialed Keith’s private number. I didn’t want to speak to his receptionist or anybody else. He answered on the first ring. I put him on speaker.

“Buddy, what the fuck happened to you? Where the hell are you and what are you fucking doing?” was Keith’s greeting.

“Man, I’m sorry. I fucked up. I know I promised to keep in touch with you, but I’m having the best goddamn time of my life and I just lost track of the time.”

“Well, you’re forgiven, but tell me what’s going down. Why are the hell are you in San Diego?”

“Wait. How did you know I’m in San Diego?” I thought of the telegram, “And how the fuck did you know I’m at the Del Coronado?”

“Well, first of all, anybody who’s anybody stays at the Del. That’s not a mystery. Besides, I see your credit cards bills, remember? So I know where you’re staying. And please don’t start fucking trying to hide from me.”

“Man, you’re scaring the shit out of me. Since when is it your job to fucking track me down?” I said angrily.

“Sorry, Tim. What I mean is, I thought we agreed that you would keep in touch.”

“Well, why should I?”

“First, because you have two kids who tend to worry when they don’t hear from their Dad for weeks. Second, because you have a shitload of investments and financial details that I am not comfortable managing without your being aware of them and participating, at least by knowing what the fuck is going on with them.”

“Am I broke yet?”

“Hell, no. You’ve got more money than when you started. You’re doing just fine, but I’d like to actually tell you that every now and then.”


This conversation wasn’t going the way I needed it to go. I took a few deep breaths.

“Thanks, Keith. I’m sorry,” I said contritely. “I really appreciate all you’re doing for me, and I respect your feelings, which I admit I have badly failed to honor lately. You’re a great guy and a dynamite friend, and I’m sorry I let you down by focusing so much on my own happiness.”

“Now hold it right there, buddy-boy! I’m fucking delighted that you’re happy, and you don’t need to make excuses to me. I’m just glad to know you’re safe and not in some Mexican jail or been kidnapped by cocaine drug-lords. Can we just agree that you’ll send me a text every once in a while that says ‘I’m not dead yet’?”

Another deep breath. “That’s very reasonable, Keith. And, again, I’m sorry I fucked up. I swear I will keep in touch on a regular basis, OK?”

Keith’s voice relaxed. More friendly, he said, “So what the fuck is going on down there? Are you having a good time? Just tell me you’re living life, not wallowing in some deep hole of depression?”

I immediately got a mental picture of Beau’s beautiful bottom. I nearly burst out laughing, but managed to stifle myself.

“Oh, yeah. I’m doing fine. I have made some friends down here, guys like myself who are either divorced or widowed. We hang around, take day trips together, and just generally enjoy each other’s company.”

“Sounds great.” His voice trailed off for a while, then started hesitantly. “Only one thing…” Keith began, “and I know it’s none of my fucking business, but who is the drop-dead handsome young guy you’re sharing your room with?”

I choked on his words. My whole body trembled with shock, and I felt like I was going to throw up.

“What… what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Look, Tim. I’m sorry, but when I didn’t hear anything from you or about you, I did hire somebody to just check that you were OK.”

“You hired a private detective to spy on me?” I was suddenly enraged.

“No, no, NO! Not at all! His ONLY job was to locate you and confirm that you were safe and healthy. I swear. I didn’t ask for any more information than that, and I didn’t fucking want any more than that.”

“But apparently you got more,” I said acidly.

“I fired the son of a bitch as soon as he told me. He seemed to think I was looking to dig up dirt on you for some fucking reason, which I swear I’m not!”

Keith took a deep breath before continuing. “I just can’t un-hear what he told me. So, please, don’t get bent out of shape. But, if you will, just tell your oldest and best friend what the hell’s going on.”

“I don’t owe you or anyone else an explanation,” I said coldly.

“You’re goddamn right. But I thought we were friends.” Keith paused. “We’ve been through a lot together. I’m OK if you want to distance yourself from all that, but I just want you to know that I care and I don’t want to worry about you.”

“Keith?” I started. “There are things that even best friends don’t share. I assure you I’m fine, I’m happy – happier than I’ve been in a long time, and I’m perfectly safe, sane, and secure. Yes, I’ve made friends here, the kind of friends that I think I’ve needed for a long time, but not the kind that the Country Club would approve of – or probably even allow through the fucking door! And that’s too fucking bad, because I’m really goddamn happy, and that’s all I fucking care about right now!”

“Buddy, you’ve got it all wrong. I AM happy for you. I don’t give a shit who you’re fucking or in love with or any of that bullshit. I really, sincerely, care about YOU, and whatever makes you happy, makes me happy. I just want to ask: is there anything you need from me, anything I can do for you?”

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe run a background check on your boyfriend or whatever he is.”

I sat in stunned silence. “Keith, if you even think of doing that, we’re done. And I’ll take every cent I have and go disappear somewhere that nobody can track me down. My private life is no one’s goddamn business, and if you can’t accept that and leave me the fuck alone, then you’re not the friend I thought you were”

It was Keith’s turn to be stunned. He spoke contritely, “Tim, I have fucked up this entire conversation. I’m truly sorry.” He swallowed hard. “I respect your privacy and your decisions, even if they leave me out in the cold. I have always dedicated myself to your and Julia’s best interests, and nothing will deter me from doing that. I fucked up by involving that P.I., and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Can we please restore our mutual trust? I will never, ever try to find out anything you don’t choose to tell me, and I will keep your confidences ‘til the day I die. I swear.”

I took another deep breath and relented. “OK, Keith. Accepted. I’ll put it on my calendar to contact you by text on the first of each month. I’ll tell you I’m alive, I’m healthy, I’m happy, and I haven’t been kidnapped or run away. Beyond that, you have no ‘need to know’, and I hope you will keep your promise and respect my privacy. OK?”

“You got it, buddy. And thanks. When I get that text, I’ll tell you anything about your finances that I think you ought to know, or that I need your approval on, and that’s all, unless you ask for more. Have a good time out there, or wherever you go, and don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got your back.”

“That’s good to know, Keith.” I relaxed and my voice returned to its normal calm. “And thank you for being my best friend.”

“One more thing. For whatever it’s worth, I’m not especially surprised at your newfound friend.”


“Come on, Timmy. We were roommates in college. From the first time I met you, I had a sense that you were open to all kinds of experiences, and I mean ALL kinds. So the idea that it looks like you’re experiencing something new, now that you’ve been married and done all that, isn’t really surprising.”

“Well, to tell you the truth, I don’t fucking know what I’m doing. I just know it feels right in every way, and I don’t plan to stop it any time soon. I’ve made a few friends, and one very special one, and that’s where I am right now. I hope that never changes.”

“You go, buddy! You deserve to be happy, and I don’t give a flying fuck how you go about it.”

With that, we said our goodbyes and I returned the phone to its cradle.

As I hung up, I felt a presence behind me. I turned quickly. Beau was standing across the room. He looked uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, Tim. I didn’t know your call would take so long.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Too fucking much. I’m really sorry.”

I got up and walked over to him and took him in my arms.

“Beau, you’re the best thing that has happened to me in many, many years. But I gotta wonder: what am I to you? You seem happy with me, and you’ve never asked me for a thing. But I don’t really see why a person like you, who has so many opportunities, wants to spend all his time with an old fart like me.”

“Tim, it’s like you told your friend on the phone. I don’t get it, either, but I know what I feel, and I know it feels right and it’s good for me. Hearing you say pretty much the same thing is all I needed to know.”

With that, Beau kissed me, deeply and passionately. We held each other in a tight embrace, our breathing synchronizing. After what seemed like an eternity, we relaxed a bit. I looked into those shimmering blue eyes and softly said, “If it’s all right with you, I think I’m ready for the next step.”

“Marriage?” Beau said with a mocking grin.

“No, asshole.” I laughed, mussing his hair, “Anal sex!” And with that, we dashed into the bedroom.

We undressed in a flurry, flinging what little clothes we were wearing in every direction. As we poised at the bedside, Beau looked into my eyes and asked seriously, “Just to be clear – you’re going to fuck me, right?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Fuck, yes! I just want to make sure, because you’re not ready to be fucked yet.”

Indignantly, I countered, “and how the fuck do you know that?”

“Because you’re a virgin, and it takes a whole lot of prepping before your first time, which we have definitely not done yet.” I shrugged my shoulders and said OK, eager for my next lesson.