Going Gay / Tim – Chapters 28 – 32


The three of us moved to the spacious shower and lathered each other up. I was done for a while, but Brett fucked Beau another time under the warm cascade – “just for practice,” he said.

This time, I simply sat on a bench in the shower stall and watched my own ‘private show’, as Beau had told me he used to give for dirty old men.

Later, all three of us toweled off and got dressed. “Dinner, gentlemen?” I inquired as I picked up the phone to call room service. “I’m fucking starving!” Brett replied, and Beau agreed, “Fucking always makes me hungry.”

Brett left right after dinner. “Early makeup call,” he explained. Beau echoed, “I’d better get to bed now, too.”

With Brett gone and Beau sleeping in our bed, I sat quietly on the patio in a pair of boxer shorts (yes, I had outgrown my reliance on tighty-whities!).

“Tim, my boy, you are now really all-in,” I told myself. “You’ve been ‘going gay’ for too fucking long, so it’s about time to face up to it: you ARE gay, you silly fucker!” I smiled to myself and sipped my Scotch-rocks.

The scene with Brett took three days of shooting, and then Beau was due a few days off. We lounged by the pool, Beau inciting hard-ons in all the men seated in the lounge chairs. Most of them made no effort to conceal their excitement, and Beau strutted around showing off his perfect body like an haute-couture model on a runway.

I just chuckled, enjoying the knowledge that they could all lust after him, but every night, and most days, I got to fuck him.

The next morning I was ready to do just that. I woke first and spent my usual ten minutes just gazing in astonishment at Beau’s glorious nakedness and enjoying in the knowledge that he was all mine.

Soon, Beau woke and headed for the bathroom to piss. He returned and stood by the bed with his morning wood in full glory. Naked, I stretched out full-length on my side of the bed and took in the magnificent young Adonis who was displaying himself for me.

“Like what you see?” he asked.

“You know fucking well I do. You’re a real goddamn Greek god!”

“So, what would you like me to do?”

“Just jack it a while, and let me watch.”

With that, Beau lifted one hand and gently caressed the head of his cock. A drop of pre-cum appeared, and he twirled it onto his finger. As he stretched it out, the thick fluid glistened in the early morning sunlight. Teasingly, he pulled it free and moved his finger to his lips, opening his mouth and slowly licking the joy-juice off his digit.

“Want some?” he asked provocatively.

“Please, lover-boy,” I croaked hoarsely.

He reached down, took another silky droplet and pointed his finger at my face. I opened my lips and he put his finger against my tongue, depositing his lubricating fluid into my eager mouth. I closed my lips around his finger as he removed it millimeter-by-millimeter, prolonging the sensation for my benefit.

“Delicious!” I exclaimed with a loving smile.

Beau then returned his attention to his hard-on. This time, he didn’t linger on the head. Instead, he began to slide his foreskin down, exposing more and more of his firm eight-inch member.

Forming a circle with his thumb and forefinger, he unveiled the full length by pushing his fleshy tegument toward his balls. Then he began to slowly slide it back up the length of his cock until it extended over and beyond the prepuce. Pulling it gently, he stretched his foreskin outward, drawing the hard dick after it.

“Damn! I envy you that magnificent piece of skin!” I exclaimed.

“And I’m sorry you’ll never know how good it feels to have it!”

Beau repeated the up-and-down manipulation of his foreskin several times, then pushed it all the way down and grasped his prick with his whole hand. I was always amazed at how big the thing actually is. To bring home that reality, Beau took his other hand and placed in front of the first one, using both hands to encompass his massive poker.

He began to jack with both hands: up and down, thrusting his hips forward and back as he did so. Involuntarily, he let a soft moan escape his throat as he fucked his two fists. He was clearly enjoying working the scene for me, as I was loving watching him.

Next, he removed one hand from his cock and kept masturbating it with the other. He moved his free hand behind his back and turned side-on to me, so that I could see him in profile.

He raised the hand from behind his back to his mouth and wet it. Returning it to his derrière, he pulled one ass cheek aside and straightened the finger, aiming it right at his beautiful ass-pucker. Bending slightly forward and still jacking, Beau slowly inserted the moistened finger into his rectum, arching his back as he did so.

He then began a gentle motion. As he slid one hand up the full length of his dick, he leaned backward and pressed his finger deep into his ass. Then, as he brought the front hand all the way down his cock, he slid the finger almost completely out of his ass. It looked like the finger and cock were two ends of a pole that Beau was riding back-and-forth on.

Beau took his finger out of his ass and climbed in next to me in bed, with his head at the foot of the bed. He stretched out and lay flat on his back. His hardness stood up like a flag pole and he slowly began to stroke it again. I lay in ecstasy, unable to move, lest I might disturb the carnal image before me.

As Beau jacked, he sometimes pointed his cock right at me, while at other times, he pointed it toward his own head. He was giving me every possible perspective from which to admire, and lust after, his manhood.

Then he let go of his cock, lifted his knees and curled his legs up toward his head, exposing his man-pussy to me. Using both hands, Beau spread his ass cheeks as I reveled in the pure sexuality that he was exposing to me. His perfect pucker was completely hairless, and it seemed to quiver in anticipation of being filled with my ever-growing cock.

He used one middle finger to tease it from side to side and top to bottom. He inserted the finger just one joint’s depth, then pulled it out. Again, to the second joint of his finger. Out again.

He continued this until his finger was fully inside him and the back of his hand was all that I could see. I could tell by the way its muscled flexed that he was twirling his finger in circles, and the memory of Beau doing that to me almost made me cum.

Then, for reasons I can’t begin to explain or understand, my mind began to fill with unwelcome thoughts.

“How much have you paid him so far?”
“A ‘daddy’ flick is about an older man and a younger stud.”
“The best you can say is that the sex was good, at least for the older person.”

I looked at Beau with a mix of raging lust and trepidation. I said nothing. Much as I tried to banish them, doubts continued to fill my silly brain.

Beau looked at me in sudden confusion. “What’s the matter? You don’t feel like it today? It’s OK if you don’t.”

“No, I haven’t changed my mind at all. In fact, I’m aching to do it, but…”

“But what?”


“Well, I keep coming back to the idea that you’re a handsome, sexy young man, and I’m an old worn-out piece of fucking flab. I can’t get it into my head that there’s any reason why you would want to have sex with me, when you’ve got Jimmy, Adam, Brett, and probably dozens of other willing partners your own age, who’ve gotta turn you on more than I do.”

With that, he stood up in front of me. “Come to me.” He said gently, opening his arms to take me in.

I complied, and he put his arms around me affectionately. “Listen, Tim. Nobody can explain why they’re attracted to another person. There’s so many possible reasons, and chances are they couldn’t find the words, anyway. And you’re NOT old, because your heart is young and full of love. You’re not flabby, either.”

He paused a moment and stepped back to appraise me from head to toe. “Just look at you, Tim. You’re six-one or six-two and about one-eighty, right?” I nodded.

Beau went on, “You’ve kept in great shape, almost effortlessly, which really pisses me off because I have to work so goddamn hard not to put on the fucking pounds!” He chuckled as he said that.

With a triumphant smile, Beau concluded, “So you’ve got a little gray hair. You have more hair on your head than my dad did when he was 40. You’re not flabby, Tim, you’re in the prime of your life, and it shows.”

He paused and lifted my chin so that I looked into his eyes. “And it’s not that I have some kind of fucking ‘daddy’ hang-up, either, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

He spoke sincerely, “When I look at you, all I see is another man, someone who cares about me, and I care about him. It’s that simple, and also that complicated. I’m damned if I can explain, so you’ll have to take it at face-value. I just fucking care about you.”

Beau looked deep into my eyes. Then he moved his mouth to mine and we kissed deeply for a while. When he pulled away, he continued, “I know that’s not much of a fucking reason, but, shit, it’s all I can say.”

I was silent for a while, still in his arms with my eyes fixed on his. It dawned on me that this was a real moment of truth, and I needed to respond to his heart-felt declaration.

“I care about you, too, Beau. I have for a long time, I think. But I wouldn’t let myself admit it, because it just seemed impossible that it could ever work between us. I hate to keep bringing it up, but I’m old enough to be your father. Hell, I could be your fucking grandfather! I so desperately want this to work between us, but a part of me keeps telling me it’s impossible, or that it’s wrong somehow.”

I felt his arms go limp, then drop to his sides. “So, what do you want to do?” he asked, looking forlornly at me.

“Right now, I want you to fuck me. It’s the one thing that sets my mind at ease.”

Beau looked away, gazing out the window. After a long pause, he spoke. “No, Tim. I can’t do it. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Why not?” Tears began to fill my eyes.

“We have to face facts,” Beau said matter-of-factly. “You have real, and completely understandable, concerns – doubts – and going ahead with such an intimate connection while those doubts are hanging over us would take all the happiness out of doing it.”

For some reason I didn’t understand, I was getting angry. I tried to control myself, but instead I blurted out, “Hell, you fuck total strangers to make your goddamn porno videos!”

Startled, Beau took a quick step back. His face paled and a tear appeared in the corner of one eye. “Tim!” he said accusingly. “How can you say that?”

Equally surprised by my outburst, I took a step toward him, but he backed further away.

“Oh, Beau, I’m sorry.” Now I started to cry openly. “I have wanted nothing so much as to give myself to you completely, and I love everything about you… not just the sex, but your laugh, your smile, your cute way of winking at me…”

“But that’s not enough?”

I didn’t know how to respond. Anything I might say at this point was guaranteed to just make things worse.

“Come. Sit.” I said, indicating the couch. But Beau moved instead to a chair opposite me, so there was a coffee table between us.

We sat and stared at each other across the obstacle of that insignificant piece of furniture. “I sure as hell don’t know what the fuck is happening right now,” I began, then trailed off. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Beau spoke softly, his voice trembling. “I think we both know: either you are so full of doubt about yourself, or, in the back of your mind, you think I did all this to trick you, or seduce you, or steal from you somehow.”

“No! No! Fuck no!” I shouted, rising off the couch. “I know you too well to ever think that, goddammit! Oh, Beau, this is breaking my heart.”

I was full-on sobbing now, and Beau was not far from it. He stood and we came into each other’s arms beside the little table. We hugged each other tightly, our bodies shuddering with weeping.

And then I had the horrifying sense that I was comforting a little boy – a crying child. I knew at that moment that he could never be my lover, my equal, my partner in life. There would always be 50 years of history between us, and no matter how old Beau was, I would always be that much older than he.

I froze. Beau sensed it immediately. “Tim?” He looked at me with alarm.

“I think I’d better sit down,” I said weakly, falling into his arms. I looked up into his eyes, and all I saw was his love for me, then blackness…

The next thing I was aware of was that I was looking up at white-tiled ceiling with fluorescent lights that weren’t turned on. Light was coming from a long wood-enclosed bar over me. I realized I was in a bed, my feet inclined for some reason. I moved, and I felt tubes and wires connected to me. I raised my head and saw that I was in a small room. Through the open door I could see a counter with a lot of computers behind it. Just then, a woman came into the room and smiled at me.

“So, we’re awake now, are we?”

I couldn’t make any sense out of who this was or what she said.

“Hunh? Where am I?”

“You’re in the CCU.”

“The what?”

“CCU – Cardiac Care Unit. You’ve just had a triple bypass and you’re still groggy from the anesthesia, so just lie there and rest. Your head will clear pretty quickly. If you are in any pain or need me for anything, press this button.” She placed a slender tube with a red button on the end in my hand.

I tried to take it all in, but I fell asleep again.

Beau rose up on his knees, turned to his right and kissed me. My dick was all the way up his ass, and I was pistoning like a sex machine. We kissed over his shoulder, as I pinched his nipples. Then my hands followed the muscular lines of his torso and I began to jack him off. His body stiffened and he shot a gigantic load on the bedsheet as my cock unloaded in his rectum.

I woke suddenly, realizing that there were four people in the room with me. Three were dressed as nurses and the fourth had a stethoscope on my chest.

“BP is 160 over 100, doctor,” one of them said.

“20 milligrams hydralazine, stat.” The doctor ordered brusquely.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, as one of the nurses injected something into my I.V. tube.

“Sir, your blood pressure spiked to a dangerous level,” she replied.

The doctor continued his examination. His eye fell on the middle of the bed. Lightly, he laid his hand on my midriff. My cock was still hard and a patch of wetness was beginning to soak through the sheet. He looked up and barked, “Administer a clonidine point-one milligram patch right away, too.”

One of the nurses looked at the doctor in amazement and then looked strangely at me.

“Now!” the doctor said sternly.

“Sir, were you dreaming?” He asked me, as if he couldn’t believe it possible.

“I think so… Yes, I guess I was.”

“Well, then we’d better try to keep you awake for a few hours.” With that, he wrote in my chart, handed it to a nurse and quickly left the room.

“What happened? Is something wrong?” I asked nervously.

Two of the nurses smiled slyly, which earned them a stern look from the one who appeared to be in charge. “That will be all. I’ll handle it from here.”

As the two left my room, the remaining nurse said matter-of-factly, “You apparently had a wet dream. Imagine! At your age!” She gave me a disapproving look.

“Sorry,” I said meekly, “I don’t know how that happened.”

“Probably a side effect of the anesthesia, but you’d better be careful for a while. Your surgery was quite serious, and a spike in blood pressure like that could do a lot of damage.” With that, she reached over and turned on the television, then left the room.


About an hour later, the nurse came back. “Your family is here, and they’d like to see you. I can allow two at a time. Do you think you’re up to it?”

“Oh, shit,” I thought to myself, “just what I don’t need right now!” I quickly looked at my middle, and the nurse followed my gaze.

“Just let me put a clean sheet on top.” As she busied herself, I had a look around. My head had cleared, and I took it all in. I was hooked up to two or three machines with LED screens and colored lines moving from right to left. I had an I.V. tube in the back of my left hand, and a whole bunch of wires coming out of my hospital gown. I assumed there was an electrocardiogram machine somewhere.

“How did I get here?”

“Your hotel called an ambulance. You were in arrest, and the EMTs had to work to keep you going until we got you into surgery.”

“Who called the ambulance?”

“I understand it was the hotel manager. He was apparently summoned to your room by someone and found you on the floor.”

“Was anyone else there?”

“No one said there was.”

I remembered falling into Beau’s arms and the terrified look on his face. I think I heard him shout, “No, Tim, no!” I wondered if he called the front desk and then just ran away, or if he stayed around until someone came to help me. I couldn’t believe that he would just walk out on me in my crisis.

The nurse interrupted my thoughts, “So, is it OK to let some of you family members visit? They can only stay five minutes.”

“Do I have to?”

“No, but they’re pretty distraught, and I understand that they all flew in from back East overnight, so it would be the polite thing to do,” she said with some annoyance.

“How many are there?”

“Five or six, it looked like to me.”

“Is my friend Keith there?”

“I believe one of them is named Keith.”

“Could I see him alone first?”

“Whatever you want.” With that, she quietly left, and in a minute or two, a very shaken Keith Cartier came in hesitatingly.

“Keith,” I said, but it came out as mostly a groan.

“Old buddy. How the hell are you?”

“Peachy keen. I enjoyed the surgery so much I asked if they’d go back in and take out my appendix.” I chuckled, but it made my chest hurt like hell.

“Easy, buddy. Don’t strain anything.”

After catching my breath, I went on, “So, who the fuck is here? Don’t tell me the whole goddamn clan has descended on me.”

“Fraid so, old pal. Natalie and Bruce, and Charlotte and Will are all in the waiting room.”

“Listen, Keith, I need you to take care of something for me.”

“You know I’ll do anything you need, but can’t it wait?”

“Have any of them been to my hotel?”

“No. As I understand it, they took taxis directly from the airport to the hospital.”

“Good. Now listen. I need you to go to my bungalow and clean it up for me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Then he thought a moment and nodded wisely. “You mean any signs of your… friend… and your… activities?”

“Right. Do you think they’ll let you into the room?”

“I have proof that I’m your power of attorney, so I think so.”

“Why the fuck do you have that with you?”

“Hey, when I got the call about your heart attack, the prognosis wasn’t good, so I brought what I thought I might need to take care of your affairs. I’m fucking glad I don’t need it now, except for what you’re asking me to do.”

“Thanks, Keith.” I extended my right hand, which didn’t have anything stuck in it, and he shook it warmly.

“Now, just don’t worry. I’ll take care of ‘all that’.” He thought for a moment. “Is he still there?”

“I don’t think so, but I don’t really know. If he is, tell him I’m all right. Then find out how he is and what he wants to do.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Keith said for the third time. With that, he left the room.

Shortly, my daughter Natalie and son Bruce hurried in. They rushed to my bed, one on each side, and bent to give me a kiss on the forehead.

“Nice to see you. Sorry about the circumstances,” I began.

“Dad, you scared the shit out of us!” Bruce exclaimed.

“Hush, Bruce!” Natalie cautioned. “Don’t get him worked up. He needs to rest.”

I reached for both of them, and they took my hands. “I’m sorry you had to rush out here. How are Carl and the kids?” Carl was Natalie’s husband, and they had had two children, twins Karen and Kieran. Bruce was divorced for over 20 years, with no children.

“They’re fine, now that you’re out of surgery and on the road to recovery,” Bruce assured me.

“You need to not worry about anybody but yourself,” Natalie ordered. “We’ll take care of everything else.”

“No, you won’t!” I exclaimed. “That’s what I pay Keith to do,” I continued, more calmly. “Now, I assume you both took red-eyes to get out here so fast?” They both nodded.

“Then, since I’m out of the fog of anesthesia and in the best possible hands right here, I suggest you find some nice, comfortable hotel rooms and crash. I can’t have a lot of visitors here, and it’s not good for you to waste your time in the waiting room, so get out of here and go take care of yourselves!”

“OK, Dad,” Bruce began, “Where are you staying?”

I froze, trying to think what to say. “The um… the um… Shit, I can’t remember the name of the fucking place!”

“Daddy!” Natalie exclaimed. I never cursed around my children, and I realized that they would probably think I was losing my mind or something.

“Sorry, I am a little overwrought, and over-drugged, just now.” I took a few exaggerated deep breaths to emphasize that I was ill. “I’m sure I’ll be back to normal pretty quickly, so please pardon any weird behavior for the next 24 hours or so.”

They both agreed, and as they were about to ask more questions, the nurse announced that they needed to leave.

“We’ll come back in the morning,” Natalie promised.

“Hopefully, I’ll be in a better room by then,” I said, winking at them.

After they left, the nurse said, “Actually, you probably will. Your doctor likes to get his heart patients up on their feet and moving around as soon as they can.” She paused, “So, no more wet dreams and you’ll be out of here by tomorrow.”

“I’ll do my best,” I said, blushing.

About 15 minutes later, my sister-in-law Charlotte and her husband Will came in for five minutes. The conversation was almost identical to the one with Natalie and Bruce. Quickly, the nurse shooed them out, and they promised to check in to a hotel and get some rest, too.

“Rest seems to be the order of the day for all of us,” I said with a grin.

The remainder of the day went past in a blur of nurses checking on me, checking the hanging bags or injecting things into them. The lights were turned on and off, it seemed all night long. I got a couple of hours of sleep now and then, but Beau didn’t appear in any more dreams.

I desperately wondered how he was. I clearly remembered the conversation that came before, or more likely led to, my heart attack. I knew that I had broken his heart, or at least disappointed him bitterly. I had said things that hurt him, insulted him, and rejected his unspoken love for me.

I still didn’t know what Beau really felt for me, but I was more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when he said he cared for me and wanted to be with me.

Right now, though, I needed to make sure that all traces of Beau and our wild sexual abandon were concealed from my family. I was sure that Keith would do a thorough job of taking care of that.

The next morning, most of the leads and tubes were removed, and I was moved into a step-down unit and only hooked up to a blood pressure monitor. I was given a disgusting liquid diet to eat, which made me piss a lot and gave me diarrhea.

To top it off, the family all came back, and this time there was no hovering nurse to tell them it was time to leave. I was delighted every time a nurse or aide came into the room to check something, and they all had to exit into the corridor.

“Could you hang around for a few minutes more?” I asked my nursing aide, a young man named Kirk.

“Why? Do you need something, sir?”

“Just some peace and quiet – a few minutes without my nosy family hanging over me!”

“I think that can be arranged,” he said with a pleasant smile, and then went out into the hallway and said something that I couldn’t hear.

“I told them that I was going to give you a bath, and they scurried for the coffee shop.”

“Bless you,” I said warmly.

“There’s just one thing…” he began.

“What’s that?”

“Well, I really do have to give you a bath,” he said, laughing.

“Well, have at it!”


With that, the nursing aide closed the door to my room and drew the privacy curtain completely around my bed. I had already been up walking twice that day, and I was able to sit up in bed for as long as I wanted.

“It’s amazing how quickly the doctors want me to move around. I half-expected to be tied down for a few days, unable to even take a shit by myself,” I told him.

“Oh, no, they really believe it’s best for you to be active and let your heart start doing the work it was meant to do.”

With that, he went into the bathroom and emerged with a large pan of hot, soapy water, some towels, and a few small bottles.

“We can’t wash your hair yet, but you’ll feel a lot better if we get some of that surgical iodine off your skin and just generally clean you up.”

He carefully folded the sheet that had covered me, and helped my out of my hospital gown. As I lay naked on the bed, he acted like it was an everyday occurrence for him. He gently washed, wiped and dried me from neck to feet. When he took care of my cock and balls, I felt a little stirring in them.

“Well, that’s certainly proof that you’re recovering!” he exclaimed with a smile. “One of the nurses told me about your wet dream. I know it’s embarrassing, but it’s a very good sign that your heart is pumping exactly as it should.”

Blushing, I told him, “It wasn’t anything I planned or wanted to do.”

“You know, there’s no holding back when your body wants to do something,” he said, gently squeezing my cock. It responded by getting even harder.

“If you keep that up, you’re gonna have another mess to clean up!”

“Well, I don’t want to get your heart pounding too hard, but you’ve got a very nice piece of equipment there.”

Without a word, I reached over and felt his cock through his scrubs. “Looks like yours is not bad, too.” I gave it a squeeze like the one he had given me. He responded by pressing his dick into my hand, and it was clear that he was a lot harder than I was. I felt a thrill go up and down my spine. “Is this the kind of service you give all your patients?”

“No, just the special ones.”

“And what makes me so special?”

“I’m not sure I should tell you.”

“I insist!”

“OK. When I was washing your butt, I noticed that your asshole looks like it has been working overtime lately.”

“What do you mean?” I asked apprehensively.

“Oh, it’s a little inflamed and looks like it has been stretched a bit, but it’s perfectly healthy.” He paused, then added, “and very nice, if I may say so.”

“Are you an admirer of assholes?” I asked with a sly grin.

“You could say that.”

“Well, so am I, so would you mind turning around?”

With a delighted giggle, he turned his back to me, undid the string-tie on his scrubs, dropped them to his knees, and bent forward. The invitation was obvious, so I reached over and squeezed one of his ass-cheeks.

“Ooh! You seem to know what you’re doing,” he cooed.

“I’ve been taking lessons lately.” I felt down his crack, found his pucker, and began softly massaging it. In response, he pressed it against my hand. I pressed my middle finger against his hole and was surprised at how easily it slipped inside him. I began to twist it around and press deeper.

“Fuck! You DO know what you’re doing!” Kirk exclaimed.

“Glad you like it,” I said as I massaged his prostate. I assumed he was hard, but couldn’t see. He moaned softly.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

“Are you decent?” Keith’s voice boomed.

“Just a minute. I’m getting a bath, but we’re almost done,” I replied with a strained voice. The nursing aide quickly pulled up his pants and tried to smooth them so his hard-on wouldn’t show. Then he straightened my hospital gown, covered me with clean sheets, and picked up the dirty ones to hide his front.

“Thank you, sir. I’ll check on you later.”

“I certainly hope you will, perhaps later at night when we won’t be disturbed.”

He smiled widely and said, “I’m sure that can be arranged.”

I winked at him as he pulled back the privacy curtain, and he opened the door for Keith to enter.

Keith gave the aide an appraising look as he left and shook his head. Then he took a chair and slid it over next to my bed.

“That guy looks a bit weird,” Keith observed.

“How so?”

“I can’t put my finger on it. Kind of like the cat that just swallowed the canary.”

“Well, no canaries in here!” I joked.

Keith shook his head again and then go to the point of his visit. “Saw the family down in the coffee shop, so I thought I could grab a few seconds with you in private.”

My face asked all the questions I wanted him to answer.

Keith burst out laughing. “Holy fuck, Timmy! The shit you had in your room!”

I blushed but said, “I assumed you wouldn’t approve, but I hope you took care of all of it.”

“Well, I figured you didn’t want me to just chuck it out, so I put it in a suitcase and took it to my room. The hotel is happy to hold your bungalow for you, and they are even doing it at half-price until you return. You must be a very good customer.”

“I guess I am. Was that all you found?”

Guessing my meaning, Keith replied, “There wasn’t anyone else staying in the room, and I found no clothes or toiletries except yours. I inquired and was told that your roommate checked out shortly after the ambulance left.”

“Did he… leave any information about where he was going?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you. Maybe this is the perfect time to cut him loose for good.”

I gave him a stern look. “I think that’s for Beau and me to decide, don’t you?”

He thought a moment, then said, “of course. I didn’t mean to suggest anything…”

“Yes, you did. You don’t approve.”

“It’s not a question of approving. I’m always looking out for your best interests.”

“And you think Beau is not in my best interest.”

“You would be the best judge of that. I just hope you’ll take this little ‘time-out’ and consider what your next move should be.”

“And I appreciate your concern. As I’m stuck here for the present, there isn’t much I can do except consider things.”

“Well, I will say that you’re damned lucky he was there when you had your… uh…”

“It was a goddamn fucking heart attack. OK, Keith? Don’t be a wuss. Shit happens, and I’m ready to deal with it and move on.”

“So what does the doctor say? When can you leave all this luxury?” He gestured around the stark room where I was recuperating.

“In a week or so, if I keep making progress. He says I’m actually in good health and strong, so I should recover pretty fast.”

“So what brought it on?”

“As best I can tell, I might have been overdoing the exercise, plus a stressful conversation.”

“Exercise?” he asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Yes, exercise, and that’s where the fuck we’ll leave it, unless you insist on hearing all the sordid details.”

He chuckled, “I’ve already seen, and put away, the big pink dick with two heads, and a lot of other shit that I’ve never even imagined existed.”

“Well, we never got around to using most of that,” I said as I stifled a sob.

“What the fuck? Are you in love with this guy?”

I nodded silently.

“Holy shit! He’s what, half your age?” I shrugged. “And exactly what do you know about him, other than he’s got a big dick and a hard-on for you – or for your money?”

“Now, wait just a goddamn minute!” I pulled myself together. “In all the time we’ve been together, he has never asked me for a fucking dime.”

“But you have fed and housed him, haven’t you? And maybe bought him trinkets and nice clothes?”

“I did all that voluntarily. He never asked…”

“He wouldn’t, would he? You’re the goose that keeps laying golden eggs. You can bet your sweet ass he’s been thinking about how to squeeze you.” I frowned at him.

Keith mustered his courage to speak. “You do know that gay marriage is legal in California, don’t you? If he got you to marry him, he wouldn’t have to ask for a thing. Shit, he’d own half of everything you’ve got!” Keith was almost shouting at this point.

“What’s all the ruckus? What’s going on here?” Bruce burst into the room, followed by the rest of the family. “Who’s trying to get Dad to marry them?”

I gave Keith a withering look. “Nobody – repeat, nobody! is trying to get me to do anything. And a privileged communication between a client and attorney or accountant is nobody’s goddamn business, so everybody just butt out!”

“Daddy, what’s going on? What has happened to you?” Natalie moved to my bedside with a look of extreme anxiety on her face.

“And did Keith say ‘he is trying to get you to marry him’ ?” Will added, looking at me suspiciously.

“Oh, my God,” Charlotte said as she collapsed into a chair. Will quickly moved to stand behind her.


There was a long silence. Keith looked like he would melt into the floor.

Finally I took pity on him, “Keith…”

“I’m so sorry, Tim.”

“Forget it. It had to come out sooner or later.” Charlotte let out a wail, and Natalie seemed about to faint, if it hadn’t for her death-grip on the bed rails.

As calmly and clear-headedly as I could, I began. “I have found a friend out here in California.”

The looks on their faces told me that didn’t even begin to answer their questions. “Yes, he’s a man, and I’m very fond of him and we’ve been living together.”

“What about Mom?” Bruce interjected, almost in tears.

“Son, I loved your mother from the day I met her, and I will always love her, as long as I live…” I paused to let that sink in. “But she’s gone now, and yet my life goes on. I thought it would be over, that I’d just sit in that big house and waste away, waiting to die and join her.”

I looked from face to face, seeing expressions that ranged from panic to disbelief to outrage. This wasn’t how I’d planned things, and it wasn’t going well. “Right now, I’m recovering from a major event, and I need time to heal and regain my strength. I only ask that all of you withhold judgment until I’m up and about and can have a heart-to-heart with each of you. Can I just ask that? Would you please do that for me?”

Silence, except for Charlotte’s sniffles.

Then Will, who was a lawyer, spoke. “Keith? As Dad’s counsel, are you prepared to affirm that he is of sound mind?”

“Of course he is, goddammit!”

“Then, I hope you’re prepared to prove that in court, because I’m damn sure the rest of us hold you responsible for encouraging, or at least not putting a stop to this… insanity… and also for hiding Dad’s true condition from his family members.”

He paused for breath. “And don’t hand me any attorney-client privilege bullshit. If you were aware that he was incompetent, you had an affirmative duty to him and to us to make it known, so that we could take appropriate action to safeguard his interests.”

“You mean ‘your interests’, don’t you, Will?” I asked angrily. “Tell the truth. You all have been itching to get your hands on my money ever since Julia died. All you think you need is a flimsy case that because I’m gay I can’t manage my own affairs.”

At those words, Charlotte sobbed and buried her head in her hankie.

Teeth clenched, Natalie said, “Whatever you are, you are NOT gay. You can’t be. You’re my father and Mom’s husband. You must be out of your right mind to even think such a thing.”

They stopped talking for a moment, which gave Keith the opportunity to pull himself together. “Let me get this straight, Willy-boy. Your theory is that because Tim has decided that he’s gay, or bi, or what-the-hell-ever, he must therefore be incompetent to manage his own affairs? Is that about it?”

“Something like that. I’ll put together a rock-solid case,” Will retorted angrily.

“Well, good luck with that argument, asshole! I will personally look forward to sitting at the defense table while you claim in a California court that being gay is a form of mental defect. Holy shit, what are we, back in the 1950s?”

Will rose up to his full 6 feet 7 inches of height. “Come on, Charlotte, let’s get out of this madhouse.” She hesitated, but her husband lifted her up and manhandled her out of the room.

Keith looked at Bruce and Natalie. “It’s the moment of truth, kids. If you love your Dad, you’ll understand that his life has changed, I believe he would say, if not for the better, then at least for good enough for right now. Will’s specious argument will never fly, and it will probably get him disbarred.” He took a deep breath to let his words sink in.

“So, decide for yourselves. Is this still the Dad you know and love, although he’s moved on in his life without your knowing about it? Or is he the wacko that greedy motherfucker hopes to prove he is?”

Keith paused and then looked straight at the both of them, “Or is this only about the money, and whatever your Dad thinks and cares about doesn’t fucking matter?”

“You disgust me,” Natalie growled as she rose to leave. Bruce was obviously torn. He looked into my eyes, imploring an explanation that he could live with. I started to say something, but couldn’t find the words.

“We’re leaving now, Bruce,” came from the hall. With a last lingering glance at me, Bruce hurried through the door.

“Shit, Tim. I’m so fucking sorry. Please forgive me.” Keith was nearly in tears.

“Forget it, old friend. They had to know sooner or later, and I had no fucking idea how I was going to tell them, so you kind of did me a favor.”

“The hell you say! I made a total fucking mess out of the whole goddamn situation!”

“Well, what’s done is done. Now what are we going to do about it?”

Keith thought a moment. “There’s no way in hell that Will is going to get away with having you declared incompetent, just because you’re… well… whatever you are.”

“Good answer, because I don’t really know what the fuck I am. I know I like sex, and I like sex with Beau, and that probably means I’m at least somewhere in the middle of the gay-straight spectrum. Do they have any other reasonable grounds to get my money?”

Keith and I discussed possible scenarios and strategies for about an hour, and then the nursing aide came in and politely suggested that Keith was tiring me. After my friend and counselor left, the aide closed the door and pulled the privacy curtain around me.

“Kirk, isn’t it?” I said with a sly grin.

“That’s right Mr. Hobson, and I hope you’re ready to take up where we left off…” With that, he pulled his scrubs top off over his head and untied the string belt. In just seconds, Kirk was naked in front of me, his cock already halfway hard.

“You bet your sweet ass I am!” I struggled a bit with my hospital gown, and Kirk said, “hold it a minute, let me disconnect this monitor.” Pressing a couple of buttons, he unwound the cord from my arm, and the lights on the machine went off.

Kirk immediately went down on my cock, sucking expertly and filling my whole body with a warm glow. I thought to myself that it was a good idea that he had disconnected the heart monitor. It had only been 36 hours since my open-heart surgery, but, as the doctor had said, my heart was strong and recovering nicely, so a little extra stimulation wouldn’t be a bad thing.

As Kirk worked on me, all I could do was massage his shoulders and run my fingers through his hair. “This isn’t the best position for you. Why don’t you get up here with me?”

“I don’t know,” Kirk said hesitantly.

“Aw, come on. This bed can hold 300 pounds easily. We don’t weigh anywhere near that.” That’s all the coaxing that Kirk needed. He scrambled up onto the bed, got into the 69 position with his hard-on pointed down at me, and went back to work on mine. I surprised myself by cumming in his mouth after only a minute or two of sucking.

“Shit! I’m sorry,” I began, but Kirk interrupted me. “No problem. We didn’t really have much time anyway.”

“But you didn’t get off.”

“Them’s the breaks.”

“Fuck that. Come over here.” Kirk had quickly sprung out of the bed as soon as I finished cumming. I pulled his naked body closer to my face and began to blow him. His cock was not very big, but it was surrounded by the cutest bush of red hair I had ever seen. He had a tattoo on the inside of his pelvis, where it could only be seen when he was naked. It said, “Fuck me please.”

I worked on his dick using all the tricks and techniques that Beau had taught me. “Where the hell did you learn to do that?” Kirk asked admiringly.

“Oh, I have a friend…”

“Well I wish he was me.” After a few more “tricks of the trade” on my part, Kirk blew his load in my mouth. I made a mental note that the size of the cock is not directly proportional to the quantity of semen, as I gulped down spurt after spurt of his tasty juices.

Kirk dressed quickly and restored my gown to a modest position. My cock was still semi-hard, so he pulled up the sheet and arranged it into some ruffles that concealed my condition.

“So, that tattoo…” I looked at him and winked.

“Means what it says, but I don’t think you’re in any position to do that just yet.”

“Then I’ll look forward to it as soon as I leave this goddamn place!” We both laughed and he bent down and kissed me.

Kirk stayed and talked with me a little longer. I learned that he was openly gay and currently living alone. He said he had lived with three boyfriends over the past five years, but it had never worked out for him. I said I hoped he would find “Mr. Right” soon and told him what a cute guy he is.