I thought before speaking. It was important to get the right message across to Pete, and I didn’t want to fuck it up.
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with getting a blowjob when you need one, or even giving one down there in the library if you feel like it…” I considered my next words, “but, Pete, that place is for losers.”
“You were there,” he said defensively.
“Like I said, it’s convenient and beats the shit outta that goddamn theater you took me to.” After a pause, I went on, “but like I said, it’s just for once in a while, or when you just need to bust a nut and don’t feel like jacking off.”
“So, why were you there tonight, and why did you let that guy fuck you?”
He knew more than I thought he did.
“Pete, I’m turning into some kind of whore.” I surprised myself by saying that, but I immediately realized that it was true. I went on, “I need sex almost all the time. Fuck yes, I’ll go down there and get my rocks off, and give some other guy the same chance, but I also have real face-to-face sex with real men who share the same needs and desires that I have.”
“Am I one of them?”
I stopped, not wanting to reject him or encourage him, either. “Let me try to explain, Pete. You’re a really nice guy, and two weeks ago you were just perfect for me. You were young, cute, willing, and you let me do anything I wanted to you. I kind of saw my self as a mentor, introducing you gradually to the joys of man-sex.”
“So what happened? What changed?”
“Let’s see. I got my fuckin face bashed in, my neck nearly broken, and my ex-roommate has a hit out on me.” I hoped that last part was a lie, but I added it for dramatic effect.
“I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t know how to find you after the ambulance took you away. I never expected to run into you tonight in that men’s room.”
“Well, I never expected to run into you there, either.”
“So why were you there?”
I looked Pete straight in the eye, “I’m two weeks behind in all my classes. My profs have all been understanding, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve gotta read about three hundred fuckin pages in the next few days. I was in the library, head down trying to catch up, and I just needed some release. I know it’s a shitty place down there, but all I wanted was to get off.”
“And that included a dick up your ass?”
I recoiled in shock. Since when did little tighty-whitey Pete use language like that? I composed myself and answered, my voice level, “Yes, Pete, sometimes a man enjoys getting fucked, just for the feeling of it. I don’t know who that dude was, but he had a really big cock, and my ass was aching to be filled with just that kind of pecker.”
It was Pete’s turn to be shocked. “Bruce? I thought I knew you, but this is a side of you I never expected.”
“Well, chalk it up to my concussion, or whatever the fuck you want to.” I decided to go with my gut, “I met a guy, a real, fuckin grown-up gay man, and he has shown me a side of myself that has been trying to get out for years.” I took a deep breath. “I have needs, and I meet those needs in whatever way is convenient or available. It doesn’t mean shit, it’s just a basic human urge, and I satisfy it in whatever way works.”
With that, Pete stood up and rushed over to me. Leaning down, he kissed me passionately and then said, “Let me meet your needs, Bruce! Fuck me every way from Sunday, upside down if you want to. Teach me how to be a real, fuckin grown-up gay man, too!”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want him – not in any way, shape, or form. If we had sex, I would feel like I was violating a little boy. But I didn’t want to hurt him or break his heart.
I sat there in silence, looking Pete in the eyes. Then I stood up, took his hand, and led him into my bedroom. Once there, I slowly removed his clothes, then mine. He was completely passive. I guided him onto the bed and we lay side-by-side.
I pulled his face toward mine and kissed him softly. His lips opened and his sweet breath filled my nostrils. He lay limply, so I lightly tugged his body toward mine. His hard cock pressed against my belly. I ran my fingers through his ginger hair and teased his earlobes. I then slid my hand across his shoulders, down his back and along the crack of his butt. Reaching as far as I could, I gently massaged his balls and then moved my hand to his cock. He trembled with pleasure and moaned softly.
I rose up onto my knees and moved my head to his cock. Wetting my lips, I kissed it lightly, then ran my tongue around his cockhead. He tried to push his dick into my mouth, but I kept my lips closed. He got the point – I was leading this exploration.
Holding his balls in my hand, I ran my tongue down the length of his prick, soaking it with my saliva. Grasping his ass, I rolled him over onto his stomach. I stretched his ass-cheeks open and approached it with my mouth. licking from his balls upward, I followed the midline of his back all the way up to his neck and hairline, then back down again, stopping at his trembling pucker.
When I inserted my tongue into his asshole, he sighed and softly said, “Fuck me, Bruce!”
“All in due time,” I replied teasingly. I then removed my tongue from his bunghole and slowly slid my index finger inside him. I felt his first and second sphincters give way grudgingly, and I knew he was a virgin.
“This might hurt a bit, Pete. We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to…”
“Fuck me, Pete! Please!”
“Easy, buddy. Let’s work up to it.” I added a second finger and began to work them around in circles and in and out, gradually stretching his entrance for what was coming. When I added the third finger, Pete groaned, but he also pushed back against my digits, forcing them inside his warm receptacle.
I worked my three fingers around in every which way for a few minutes, feeling his ass adjust to accommodate the girth that I was about to introduce through that orifice. My cock was only about six inches long, but it was also six inches around, making it a bit of a challenge for a first-timer.
“Pete?” He had stopped moving and become silent when I removed my fingers.
“If you think you’re ready…”
“Can I ask you something?”
“How old were you when you did this for the first time?”
“And who did you do it with?”
“My best friend.” I lied, because I considered that losing my virginity to Alan-the-fucking-pool-man didn’t count, compared to making love with Craig.
Pete was silent, but he pressed his ass back toward me and arched his back, inviting me to enter him.
I inched forward, covering his back ever so slightly with mine, until I was resting on top of him, my cock cradled in his ass-crack. I rubbed it up and down several times and then put light pressure on his anus.
Pete had stopped breathing, but his entire body was wound up like a bomb about to go off. As my cockhead proceeded inexorably inside his first ring of muscle, Pete abruptly pushed back with all his strength, and my cock was all the way inside him, as his ass-cheeks collided with my groin.
“Whoa, baby. Are you OK?” I asked, concerned.
“I got tired of waiting for you to spare me the pain.”
“Did it hurt?”
“Not much, and right now it feels like fucking heaven with you inside me.”
With that, I kissed the back of his neck and nuzzled an earlobe as I began a slow motion in and out, deeper and deeper. I felt Pete do the same thing I had done the first time I took a dick up my ass – adjust his position and move his ass from side to side to encompass the unfamiliar piece of flesh now filling it.
As I increased the pressure and pace, Pete once again ordered, “Fuck me, Bruce!”
I let him have it all. Well, not as much as David had given me. I had never been fucked like that, and I was dying to experience it again, but I gave him at least as much as Alan and Craig had been able to give me.
We lay like that, me on top of him, impaling him on my erection, for a long time. It wasn’t exotic sex, but it was doing the trick. I felt a growing sense that I was ready to cum, but I didn’t want to take him by surprise.
“I’m gonna cum soon. Where do you want it?”
He froze. Apparently, this was something he had never thought about. I was glad I asked before emptying my nuts into his gut.
“Can you shoot in my mouth?”
“Sure can!” And with that, I gently pulled my cock out of Pete’s ass, got up on my knees, helped him roll onto his back, and brought my hard-on to within an inch of his open and willing mouth.
“Unh! Fuck! I’m cumming!” I felt the first spurt of cum fly across his face and disappear onto the pillow. I lowered my dick and rested it on his tongue, and the next five or six gushes went into their intended target. Pete responded by swallowing quickly and taking each jet of sperm expertly.
After my last ejaculation, Pete took my spent prick into his mouth and sucked it dry of every last drop of jism. I was impressed, because a lot of guys are finicky about putting a dick in their mouth when it has just been up their ass. Apparently, Pete had no such qualms.
Spent, I fell onto the bed next to my lover. He had surprised me several times during our passion, and I had a new respect for him. He wasn’t really the little boy that I was reluctant to fuck like a man.
I held Pete in my arms for a while, and then he looked up at me.
“Would it be all right if I fuck you now?”
“Goddamn right it would!” I said with a hearty laugh. I drew my knees up and hooked my elbows around my inner thighs. Seeing my ass so ready for his entry, Pete seemed not to know what to do.
“You take you dick and you shove it up my ass, and then you fuck the shit out of me…” I said with a tease in my voice.
“Fuckin right! Here it comes.” Pete shoved his prick into me so hard that it pushed me backward. It’s a good thing that my ass was so experienced. He immediately set to pounding me like a piston. His six inches did him proud, and he even varied the speed and depth like a pro.
“Shit, Pete. Where the fuck did you learn to do that?”
“I’ve been watching gay pornos. I wanted to know how to please a man.”
“Well, you sure as shit learned every lesson!”
As he fucked me, Pete leaned down and kissed me. Our tongues did battle as his member dug deeper and deeper into my willing butthole. Finally, his whole body stiffened and he stopped breathing. Thrusting as deep inside me as he could, Pete unloaded his balls with four or five hot gobs of semen. Then he just lay on me, exhausted. Carefully, I lowered my knees, still keeping his cock inside me as I sought a more comfortable position.
He started breathing again and opened his eyes. “That was… unbelievable, Bruce!”
“Not bad at all, Petey- boy!” I agreed.
As his cock softened, it slipped out of me and I felt the familiar feeling of hot sperm oozing out of my hole and wetting my balls and the bed under me. I put both arms around Pete and held him tight. He still felt like a little kid, even though he had just fucked me like a man.
I rolled to one side, taking him with me, and we held each other for a long time. I kissed him tenderly and said, “Well, my friend, I hope that was as good for you as it was for me.”
“It was fucking amazing! I never imagined that it felt so good.”
I chuckled softly, but my mind wandered to what was going to happen next. I didn’t want to lead him on, but I also didn’t want to burst his bubble of post-coital pleasure.
I said, “nice as this is, I need to piss.” And with that, I rolled to the side of the bed and stood up. I went into the bathroom and managed a trickle that I made sure hit the water to make some sound. Coming back into the bedroom, I avoided the bed and said, “how about another beer? I fuckin need a glass of wine!”
Disappointed but not knowing what else to do, Pete got up and followed me into the living room.
We sat on the couch naked, hips and knees touching. I looked down and was surprised at how our cocks were almost identical. I was maybe two inches taller then Pete, and six months older, but I felt like a vast chasm existed between us. Pete was still a boy – all right, a youth, but I was now definitely a man. His thinking about sex was all about how and where and when to get it. I was way past that. I expected to have sex often, every day if possible, and I knew a dozen ways to do it and places to have it and men to fuck.
We sat in silence, Pete occasionally taking a tiny sip of his beer. I was on my third glass of Chardonnay and would need to get up and refill again in a minute or two.
As we sat, in my mind I composed a conversation that I knew had to take place now.
Pete: “I love you, Bruce.”
Me, carefully choosing my words so as not to hurt him: “Pete, I’m sorry you said that. I love someone, and there isn’t anyone who’s going to take his place in my life.”
Pete, uncomprehending: “But… but, you have sex with other men.”
Me: “Yes, I do. We both do. We make a distinction between love and sex. We know we need to fulfill our sexual needs, and that’s what we expect each other to do. But we only have one person that we love.”
As I rehearsed and revised my little speech in my head, Pete suddenly turned to me and said, “Bruce, thank you for being my first. I’ll never forget you.”
Stunned, I gaped at him, speechless.
He went on. “Look, Bruce. I know I’m way too naïve and inexperienced to meet your needs. I’m grateful that you introduced me to man-sex… shit, you fucked my brains out, so that it’s firmly implanted how to do it!”
We both laughed, uncomfortably.
Stunned by his words, I listened as Pete continued, “You are like a full-grown man when it comes to sex, and I’m still just a wide-eyed kid. Even if you tried to teach me what you know and how to please you, it would take forever, and I don’t think I’d ever be the lover that you need.”
Finally, I found words to say, “Pete, you’re a lot better lover than you think you are.” Even as I said them, they sounded hollow and insincere.
Ignoring my stupid statement, Pete went on. “I’ll always remember how patient and gentle you were with me, how you never forced yourself on me or expected me to do something I wasn’t ready to do. I’ll probably compare every lover I ever have with you, and I don’t think any of them will ever measure up.”
I spoke, “Pete, you are a great guy, and I have no doubt that you’re going to have great lovers, and that you’re going to blow their minds with your body and your passion. I don’t regret anything we did, and I don’t feel bad that we went at your pace, doing what you needed to do, when you needed it.” I leaned over and kissed his lips.
Pete smiled back at me with love glinting in his eyes, “Thanks, Bruce. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” With that, we stood up, got dressed, kissed on the lips again, and Pete left.
I saw Pete around campus from time to time and we always smiled at each other. Once in a while, we had a coffee, but we never had sex with each other again.